Keeping it Light on the flight

You gotta love the Canadian sense of humour. West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary, Alberta. My good friend, Steve Moore passed this on to me.

West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and
announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a West Jet flight (There is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want)
passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

----------------------- On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

------------------------ On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

------------------------ "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

----------------------- "Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

--------------------------- As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

------------------------- After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced,
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

----------------------- From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245 to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

--------------------- "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

----------------------- "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines."

------------------------ "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

----------------------- "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly
among the flight attendants.. Please do not leave children or spouses."

--------------------------- And from the pilot during his welcome message: "West Jet Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best
flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately,none of them are on this flight!"

----------------------------- Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton. The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it
wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

------------------------------ Overheard on an West Jet Airlines flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

------------------------------ Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

--------------------- An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

------------------- After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

You have to have a sense of humor. See you on the plane.

GET YOUR PASSPORT

Don't get left behind...

Starting January 8, 2007, (I guess our government wanted us to party over New Years) you will need a valid passport to get back in the country from everywhere. No more using state issued ID's, birth certificates and other forms of id's.

The US is finally moving into the 21 Century. Get details at www.travel.state.gov or call the National Passport Information Center at(877)487-2778.

See you on the plane and not standing at the counter.

Take a friend on the plane with you

Hello World Travelers,

You can bring your carry-on on the plane again, with exceptions. When you bring your bag onboard, you save time by avoiding lines at the check-in counter and waiting at baggage claim so you can ease in and out of the airport.

A few things to remember:
Liquids, gels and aerosols in containers that are 3 oz./90ml or less and packed in one clear zip-top 1-quart plastic bag are now allowed through the screening checkpoint. Be prepared to have all of your liquids, gels and aerosols in the one clear bag.

The zip-top bag may need to be presented separately at airport security so make sure it is easily accessible when you approach the screening area. Zip-top bags may be provided if needed, but it is best to have your own, andrememberr if it is not in the one clear zip lock bag, it cannot go in the carry-on.

Recent changes have also allowed beverages and toiletries purchased inside the airport beyond the security checkpoints to be allowed onboard the aircraft. Verify at your airport that these items will be allowed on the plane before you purchase them.

Changes come frequently and you should check with your airline and TSA before you fly.

Next Stop INDIA

Hello World Travelers,

We are all excited that we will be on the road to Incredible India for 2007. This is a long awaited trip that many have asked for and we are happy to be escorting. On our last trip to India in 2005, Ja'Vonne and I fell in love with the food, the culture, the history and the people. We look forward to sharing all and even more with our friends. The trips will be limited and dates are in late March/early April. Call our office at 1-877-238-6843 or take a look at the full itinerary and pricing at http://www.advantage-intl.com/main.html. See you on the plane.